You get your own shopping cart. We think if you explain to cart owners that this is for charity and you promise to return the cart, they will let you borrow one. We do not encourage stealing and accept no responsibility for your cart. There are many shopping carts in our community that are abandoned and seeking a good home. Drive around until you find one. Clean it up and make it feel special. Also note that many area stores have devices that will lock the wheels if the cart is removed from the parking lot. Don’t discover that the hard way and become your own foil!

We think it is so important that the carts are returned to their families that we’ll probably arrange a cart orphan drop-off site. You can make an extra donation of say $10 at the GREAT BIG FABULOUS FINISH PARTY, and your cart can camp overnight with all of the other solo carts, plus it will enjoy a truck ride about town back to its home. If you decide to leave your cart with us at Cartcare, please make sure we have the proper address for return. Of course, if your landlord let you borrow the cart, you should take it home with you. Or if you welded it into an unrecognizable ball or something, we’d rather you brought it back and explained.

Carts should be decorated and may be modified, but the original base frame must be intact and cart wheels must be the cart originals. No inflatable tires, motors, rockets, or Road Runner Acme gadgets. Stick with the spirit of the Idiotarod, will you?

We hope teams will express creativity — through use of costumes, themes, decorative carts, fans, exotic dance routines, and so on. See some of the fools on our pictures page for ideas of how past participants have really stood out in a crowd.

First and foremost, you’re doing this because, well, it’s likely you’ve got a screw loose here and there, and/or you recognize the personal challenge of testing how low you can go on the dignity scale. On the other hand, you will be doing all of this for a good cause. Yes, believe it or not, all this silliness is for charity. Plus, you’ll have a great story to tell your grandkids… (“During the great DC Idiotarod of aught-eight my team was in championship form...”)

We keep a minimal amount of funds raised to offset expenses associated with the event and to come up with some prizes and such, but all profits go directly to the charities.

And because there are prizes!

Sure they may be made out of paper mache, or have a nice homemade feel to them, but they are PRIZES, which means you get boasting rights! You can strut about with the trophy, and even write home to mom about it. Well, maybe you don’t want to mention some of the prizes. Here’s a partial list of prizes we’ll award this year (subject to change without notice):

First, Second and Third Place (by fastest time, including any bonus time cards earned at checkpoints)

Racer Course:

    Blistering Fast Award for First Place Finish

    Dead Last Award for Finishing in Last Place

Leisure Course:

    I M Pei Award for Excellence in Creative Concept and Design

    C & C Music Factory Gonna Make You Sweat Award for Best Musical Performance along Leisure Route

All Participants:

    iCart Award for Most Technologically Advanced Cart

    Slacker Award for the team that put the least amount of effort into preparing costumes or carts

    Camel Toe Award for Best Use of Spandex

The entry fee is $60 per team (just $10 per person, you numbnuts). You really don’t get anything for your money, except free entrance to the GREAT BIG FABULOUS FINISH PARTY (which, by the way, will include some free drinks for Idiotarodders), and the chance of having your face smeared all over the media! And we have some surprises along the routes. As mentioned above, entry fees will be used for prizes, charity, and possibly a few base expenses. So go ahead and register!

You might also consider trying to get matching funds from friends or a team sponsor to help send even more money to our charity. Let’s be really clear — raise more money and you get time credits!!

• $100–$250 in matching funds earns your team a 1 minute advance start

• $251–$500 in matching funds earns your team a 2 minute 30 second advance start

• $501+ earns your team a 3 minute and 30 second advance start

Of course, this does mean telling people that you are acting foolish, but don’t you think your friends will pay to see you make an ass of yourself?! Especially when it’s for a good cause!

Sure, maybe you value your dignity, or your bones.

Maybe you don’t want your picture all over the Internet dressed as the Pope, but you can still participate in this event. How? Volunteer! We need people for all sorts of asinine help, such as acting as a referee. If interested, send an email to idiotarod@gmail.com.

And even if you don’t participate or cheer on a team, come to the GREAT BIG FABULOUS FINISH PARTY and bring all your friends: Your $10 contribution at the event will go directly to charity.

The DC Idiotarod is brought to you by SMASHED!  If you’d like to get on our mailing list for other fun events, just send an email to dcsmashed-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. 

If anything on this page is unclear or you want further clarification, just email idiotarod@gmail.com.