Get yourself a nice comfy chair and a warm cup of joe- it’s time once again for our resident scribe and official Captain of Tomfoolery Paul Bove to give us his unique perspective on our most recent event, the oh-so-glorious 2007 ManPageant:

Does saying that something is the “Second Annual” constitute a modicum of success? Does it equate to an expectation that the event truly will be “annual”? I guess one would like to assume that is the case. But a lot rides on making something “annual”. November 3, 2007 saw the 2nd Annual Lip Hair Because We Care Celebration of Mustaches for Charity. A.K.A. The Glorious ManPageant. OK, the title is a mouthful, but the important detail is that people are growing mustaches to benefit charity. That kind of says it all. Or if we dig deeper we can state that ten intrepid souls grew facial hair for a month to help raise over $3000 for Capital Queen for a Day, which exists to raise the self-esteem and self-confidence of girls with cancer. They host parties at cancer facilities, giving the girls manicures and makeovers. A fitting cause to be sure.

For the second year, this observer acted as a judge. Yes, I can ably grow my facial hair. In fact, I currently sport a full beard. But for my money there is something about being up close and personal watching the contestants perform like they’re in Atlantic City for the Miss America Pageant. Speaking of pageants, the event was hosted by none other than Miss District of Columbia USA 2007, Mercedes Lindsay. The event is a whirlwind of activity with each contestant bringing out every trick in their arsenal to curry favor from the judges for valuable points. There are props, music, costumes, flair, and my favorite part, the slapback round. That part of the show is basically a skit the contestant performs with a female counterpart that culminates in her getting angry enough to throw a drink in his face, thereby allowing us to see how well the mustache holds a beverage. The skits are great and there is a level of hilarity in that most women miss the mustache and the guy usually just ends up with a face, or shirt, or neck full of booze. And that’s the fun of it. The contest was at frenetic pace as Miss DC called each contestant out to strut their stuff on the catwalk to give us judges a full view of what they were offering. Points were awarded for the costume, the ability to grow a full, lustrous ‘stache, and many other factors that escape me at this time! But make no mistake about it: There were a lot of factors. In addition to the grand prize of “Mr. DC Sweet ‘Stache 2007”, awards were given for Best ‘Stache Growth, Crowd Favorite, Mr. Congeniality, and Most Money Raised. Check out the website for a full list of winners, as well as some great photos. And get this: The fantastic technogeeks at the Geekpad created text voting so that the crowd could vote for their favorite contestants via their cell phones! Not bad for a small charitable organization!

This years’s winner was Dave Redmin, who played the part of Ron Burgundy from “Anchorman”. His costume choice captured the 70s flair to a “t” and he also managed to turn his Isro into a wonderfully cheesy 70s do with the help of a wig. But the coup de grace came when he used his turn on the catwalk to play some “yazz flute”. If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I’m talking about. After the final tallies came in, Redmin stood victorious in 3 categories. Why? Commitment. If you’re going to enter a contest like this, you go in full hog!

And commitment to charity is what it’s all about. So to answer the earlier question, yes, the hope is that this is an annual event because we at SMASHED, are committed to charity and giving and philanthropy in all its forms. If that means running around in the streets with shopping carts or growing mustaches, then so be it. Charity does not have to be a $1000-a-plate sit down dinner with tuxes and black gowns. Charity can be anything. It is with that ideal in the back of our heads that this mustache pageant became a “Second Annual” event. You want to be charitable? It doesn’t take much. Sure, you can give a donation to a charity, you can become a volunteer, or you can act stupid in the name of charity. Every bit helps and the folks who run the charities appreciate the effort. If you have ideas for us, or want to get involved, feel free to contact us at dcsmashed@gmail.com.

Oh, and be sure to get your costume ideas flowing for next year’s “3rd Annual Lip Hair Because We Care Celebration of Mustaches for Charity.” Because we will be back again to help charity. It is, after all, an annual event.